Image courtesy of Katy Mendez
She admitted to herself that evening that she had made many mistakes and that everything that once occurred did in fact happen. But she did not regret everything that once was and had been.
She had no drop of remorse left for all the things that went wrong.
She understood that things sometimes ended at the times she wished they wouldn’t. That sometimes things can end before you’re ever ready for them to. She pondered and realized unfortunately we don’t control how life plays out. We just choose which way to go and follow that road until it comes to a conclusion.
As she laid in darkness all she wanted was to let him know that it was true, she did love him once. That he was her life once. That he was hers once. Nonetheless this was no longer the case.
He was no longer hers. She was no longer his. They had no connections, affiliations or loyalties. They were now from two different worlds.
Because of this she assured herself that he had no right to come into her life telling her he cared months after their time had ended. He had no right to come back and act like she wasn’t allowed to be happy and move on. She then picked up the phone and dialed his number. To her relief he did not answer like he had many times before and so she left a message which recorded,
“I’m sorry you’re not doing well and you’re not happy but I’m not sorry that I cannot relate. I’ve chosen to follow my dreams and to chase after my goals rather than people. I’ve decided to place my happiness in things that last so that if I were to lose anything else, I would still be happy.
You haven’t learned that I see and it’s unfortunate.
If I could I would show you what it means to be happy but you’d be surprised to know my happiness isn’t you.
For a long time I’ve held on to a lot of hurt and remorse towards you. The thought of us in the same room was unbearable. It was something I thought I’d never overcome. It’s taken time but I’ve gotten here. I’ve arrived at the point where all I can see is only the good things. All of the good things that surround me.
I am happy and it’s because I’ve finally learned to let go and I’ve learned to let God.
So please, its time to let me go, it’s time to let me be happy, and it’s time to let me be free.”
And with that she hung up the phone, wiped the last tear off her face, let out a heartfelt sigh and closed her eyes to rest.